My second goal is taking care of all the business that I need to do. I dread making phone calls. I always put it way too off and wind up digging myself a bigger hole. I forsure need to make on call and work on my daughters sports forms too. I've been putting off that phone call for over a week. I will call on Monday. (hopefully) I will also work on the little things that I need to do. You know the things that you put off. I hate to admit it but I am a huge procrastinator. I am going to work on stopping that.
My third and final goal for this week is to work on a schedule. I try to do different chores on certain days of the week. My husband is on vacation this coming week, so I am going to try to keep that schedule. It gets hard to want to do stuff with my depression. Some days all I want to do is lay in bed or just sit in my office and stare at the wall. Which neither get me anywhere. It's so hard. But I am going to try small steps. First get out of bed and brush my teeth. I'll consider that one goal. Get dressed and not stay in my pj's all day will be another goal. And so on. I am going to make small goals so I feel accomplished this week.
One final goal is write on this blog! I do good then I fall off the wagon. I want to document my life and my business. So I am not promising I'll write everyday lets hope for at least 3X this week. Today being one day.
So I will keep you posted if I accomplish any of these goals. So come back and check it out. Also if you'd like check out my website. I am working on some other thigs for my shop. Maybe I will post about it. Would that be intresting? That might make a good social media post. Well, I'll let you go for now. I will talk to you soon.
Wednesday, May 14, 2025
If I could change one thing about myself
I was thinking about what to write about today and found this online.
If I could change one thing about myself what would it be? I would change putting stuff off. I am a huge procrastinator. I always put things off to the last minute. Anything and everything. I wish I woiuldn't do that but I can't help it. I've been like this for so long. I've been trying to get better. Like I need to call the pharmacy to pay for my injection I get once a month. But I haven't called yet. I need to but for some reason I don't do it.
I am even procrastinating writting this. I keep either looking at my phone or my iPad. I need to see what I can do to not to procrastinate so much. Do you have any tips? I looked it up online and its says to set deadlines. Maybe if I put it in my calendar that may help. I'm not sure. But I will try it.
If you have any tips comment below and let me know. Thanks for stopping by today!
Monday, May 12, 2025
How Monday's Make Me Feel
Today is Monday the beginning of the week. I use to dread Monday's. Sunday's I would just think how I wish Monday wouldn't come. They would make me feel like dreadful. I am going to try to change my mindset. I want to stop feeling so depressed. I need to change for my family they need a better version of myself.
I am going to start looking at Monday's as the beginning of a new week and the start of something wonderful. I want to live each day not just survive each day. It's time to start living life and not feel dread each day.
So today I am going to do somethig for myself. Not sure what yet. Maybe get me a matcha. I'm obessed with Lavender Matchas right now. It is so good. Since yesterday was Mother's Day I didn't do anything around the house I just relaxed now I have a few things to do. Which I don't mind. But I will do something for me. Do something for yourself too. And here is to the start of a wonderful week!
Sunday, May 11, 2025
Happy Mother's Day
Hi Friends! I just wanted to stop by and wish all the mamas out there a Happy Mother's Day!
I hope you were all spoiled by your family. My son Kal-El made me and the family dinner. He made chicken sandwiches and they were very good. I didn't have to help him at all. He also bought me s very cute bunny pulshie. If you know me then you know I love bunnies very much!
Well, that is all for today friends. I'll be back tomorrow with another post.
Friday, May 9, 2025
Questions I'm afraid to ask myself
There are some questions that I am afraid to ask myself. Here they are:
1. Are you afraid of failing?
Yes, I am. What if I start to put 110% into my website and blog and it goes nowhere. Nobody reads it and nobody buys anyting. I've comforted myself by saying the reason no one has bought anything is because I do not promote my business. Nobody knows about my website. How can people find it if they don't know about it.
2. Will I ever not be depressed or live with a mental illness?
I have lived with my depression for so long that I do not remember what it's like to want to get out of bed in the morning. When the alarm goes off I lay there for a minute and just think, I really don't want to get up. I just want to lay here and not do anything. But the kids need to get to school, the dog needs to go out and be feed, and the bunny needs to be feed. So I have to get up but I don't want to. My anxiety, schizoaffective disorder and PTSD has been around for so long too I don't remember not having it either. I'm afraid of just life.
3. Am I good mom and wife? Do I do enough?
I always worry that I am not a good mom and wife. That sometimes I think they'd be better off without me. I don't do enough for them. I don't cook enough, clean enough, do laundry enough, talk to them enough or spend time with them enough. My husband is so busy with work that I worry that I don't spend enough time with him or talk to him. He is always on phone on a call or a zoom meeting. I worry that I fail him.
Those are the questions that I am afraid to ask myself. I'm afraid of what the answers are. Even though I have answered them somewhat theres still more that I worry about. What are some questions you are afraid to ask yourself? Thanks for stopping by today. I'll talk to you later.
Thursday, May 8, 2025
People I’m grateful for and why
The people who I am grateful for are my husband Christopher, my mom and my children Gibby, Kal-El, Bruce, Kara Love, Jaslynn and my twins who are also in heaven.
I’m grateful for my husband Christopher because he gives me a sense of calm and protectiveness. He is always there for me to make me laugh or just to comfort me. He works really hard for our family and never complains. I make sure that I take good care of him. He never has to worry about anything with the house or the kids.
I’m also grateful for my Mom. She is the bestest mom ever. There is nothing she wouldn’t do for me or my family. And I feel the same way. She has helped us so much through out the years. I struggle sometimes with the house to be honest and taking care of things and she’ll come over and help without hesitation. She’ll help give the dog a bath and was dishes. She just the best don’t know what I’d do without her.
I’m grateful for all my children. My Gibby has grown into a great man. He has a family of his own now. His girlfriend has two kids who he loves like his own and they’ve been together for like 5 years now. She’s wonderful and treats my son good. So I’m thankful for that. My Kal-El is always willing to help me with anything. Whether it is something simple or complicated he’s there. My Bruce makes me laugh. He gives the best hugs and is always willing to spend time with me. He still loves to snuggle like he did when he was little. My Kara Love is a great kid. She has her moments where she drives me crazy! Like taking forever to get ready when I’m ready to go. She always makes sure to come and hug me and tell me good night. Which I just love. My Jaslynn my sweet angel she taught me what resilient was and how to live life. She was so strong and loving. Even though she was with me for only 5 years she left a lasting impression and legacy on many. My twins who I lost at 4 1/2 months pregnant even though we never meet I still think of you often and wonder who you’d be. You’d be 14 years old now and a freshman in high school. Wow. I know you’re in heaven with your sister Jaslynn.
Those are the people who I am grateful for. Family. My family. I love them very much and don’t know what I’d do without them.
Thanks for stopping by! See you tomorrow!
XOXO,
Hope Angeline
Wednesday, May 7, 2025
Activities that help bring me a sense of calm
I think an activity that brings me a sense of calm is making jewelry. When my Jaslynn was going through chemotherapy she and I would make bracelets and give them to friends, family and the nurses.
It was relaxing doing it in the hospital or at home when she couldn’t really go anywhere because of her counts being low.
I think about her when I make jewelry. Whether it’s bracelets or earrings. It really does give me a sense of calmness. She was my everything. When she passed away in 2005, I gave up making jewelry and my other crafts because it was too hard.
After sometime I picked it back up after I became disabled. It was a way to keep my mind busy. I feel so close to my Jaslynn when I’m making jewelry. If she was still here I know we’d still be making jewelry together.
Thanks for stopping by today! I hope you’re having a great day.
XOXO,
Hope Angeline
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