1. Are you afraid of failing?
Yes, I am. What if I start to put 110% into my website and blog and it goes nowhere. Nobody reads it and nobody buys anyting. I've comforted myself by saying the reason no one has bought anything is because I do not promote my business. Nobody knows about my website. How can people find it if they don't know about it.
2. Will I ever not be depressed or live with a mental illness?
I have lived with my depression for so long that I do not remember what it's like to want to get out of bed in the morning. When the alarm goes off I lay there for a minute and just think, I really don't want to get up. I just want to lay here and not do anything. But the kids need to get to school, the dog needs to go out and be feed, and the bunny needs to be feed. So I have to get up but I don't want to. My anxiety, schizoaffective disorder and PTSD has been around for so long too I don't remember not having it either. I'm afraid of just life.
3. Am I good mom and wife? Do I do enough?
I always worry that I am not a good mom and wife. That sometimes I think they'd be better off without me. I don't do enough for them. I don't cook enough, clean enough, do laundry enough, talk to them enough or spend time with them enough. My husband is so busy with work that I worry that I don't spend enough time with him or talk to him. He is always on phone on a call or a zoom meeting. I worry that I fail him.
Those are the questions that I am afraid to ask myself. I'm afraid of what the answers are. Even though I have answered them somewhat theres still more that I worry about. What are some questions you are afraid to ask yourself? Thanks for stopping by today. I'll talk to you later.
XOXO,
Hope Angeline
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