Having a mental illness is hard to live with. Some days are harder than others. To me it is like running on a treadmil. I seem to never get where I am going no matter how fast or hard I run I can never get to where I am trying to go.
I have tried to imagine living without depression, anxiety and schizophernia but I just do not know how to even begin to imagine what life would be like. I have lived with my mental illness for so long I forgot what is was like to be happy. What it is like not to have to take medications. I feel like I am living in a hell that no one knows about not even my husband. The few friends that I do have do not even know what I go through on a daily basis. I just want to wake up in the morning and not feel sad. I want the demons out of my head. I want to know what it is like to sit and have a conversation with someone and just laugh and not have my head spining and no voices.
Below sums up everything pretty much. I would give anything to be happy.
I am trying to live. I have so many things that I want to do. But I just do not have the courage or strength to do them. I want to have friends and do things with them but I also just want to be alone. I am hoping that writting about my struggles will help others to know that they are not alone. Thank you for stopping by today my Sparkly Friends.