Sunday, September 29, 2013

My Epic Sucess and My Epic Failures

It is so crazy how fast time goes by.   My last post was back in June, when I had to take some time off of work.   Now here we are a 2 days until October!  Where has the time gone?  My Kara Love is going to be 9 months on October 7th.  My oldest Gib is a senior in high school and only has 8 months left of school.  Kal-El and Brucee are getting bigger and talking way more every day. 

My Epic Successes

I have gone back to work, but I now work in the corporate office for the management company and love it.  I do miss work actually onsite at the apartment offices sometimes but I am learning so much and I am really enjoying this new work chapter of my life.  Even though it was considered a "demotion" from being a actual property manager, I now considered it a epic success in my books.  I am learning and doing things I only dreamt of doing before.  I work for the most amazing management company and work with a great group of people.  Career wise I could not ask for anything better.  Not very many people get to say they really enjoy what they do for a living but I really do.

My other epic success is my kids.  Even though they make me want to pull my hair out sometimes, and Kal-El and Brucee think they are actually the real Superman and Batman, Topher and I do have some AWESOME kids.  

My Epic Failures

Not being able to potty train Kal-El is one of my epic mama failures.  He is and for the life of me can not get him fully potty trained and it drives me insane!  I have to buy diapers for Brucee and Kara Love but also having to buy Pull-Ups it cost a lot.  Now I feel like how can I even begin with Brucee when Kal-El will not even go potty all the time!

Not being able to keep the house immaculate like I use to do before I meet Topher and had the Justice League makes me feel like a epic failure as a mama and a wife.  My house use to be so clean, and I had everything in a certain spot, my friends would make fun of me.  They would even move things around to see if I noticed things were not in the certain spot I had them in.  Now a days I am luck if I get to vacuum everyday and if there is less than 10 dishes in the sink.

My blog and online store is an other epic failure of mine.  I have wanted to blog for so long and have an online store where I can sell my creations but to be honest I am afraid of failing.  It sounds so cliché and silly, but what if nobody likes me or my stuff!?!?!?  I think I would be so hurt, but why should I be.  I originally wanted to start this blog for me anyways.  I wanted to help show moms who have lost a child for any reason, that things will be okay again one day.  I lost my Jaslynn in January 7, 2005 due to brain cancer.  It is going to be 9 years that she is gone.  And even though I would not have believed anyone who said I would have 3 more children and a little girl at that I would have said your crazy and get away from me.

Another epic failure for my blog, not being able to figure out how to remove the word "sorry." from each blog post title.  I am going crazy trying to figure out how to remove it!!!  So if anyone has any advice please pass it my way!

My last major epic failure is not starting my nonprofit in Jaslynn's memory yet.  It is going to be 9 years in January.  9 years!  I thought I had it all figured out on what to do but because of some circumstances I need to come up with something else.  I have been racking my brain for a few years now, and have not been able to come up with something that will perfectly honor Jaslynn's life.

I hope this gives a little insight in to me.  It is not very easy to come out and say that you feel like a failure.  But you know what now that I have gotten some of this stuff off my chest, I feel a tad bit better. 

Here is to October!  I hope you do stick around and come back and visit me sometime!



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