Monday, August 31, 2015

Bye August......It's Been Real

I have had my ups and downs with my mental illness. I will be the first to admit that it is hard. Having to live with anixety, depression and schizophrenia is very hard. Lately my bad days have trumped my good days. There are days that I just lay in bed and do not want to get out. Just lay there forever. But I know I can not do that. I need to go to work to provide for my family, I need to get up for my kids. But between the feelings of helpness and the voices I just want to give up the majorirty of the time. It is hard for me to admit these things online. Where the will be FOREVER. But I want for others who suffer from the same things to know they are not alone. By looking at me you may never know what I really go through. To be honest I really do not talk about it with anyone. Not family, friends (the few that I have), or the people I work with.



I have had goals the past few months and have not been able to accomplishe any of them. That makes me feel horrible. It makes me feel like a complete failure. Like I am unable to accomplish anything. I am taking my medicines everyday and I am trying to learn how to breathe and not let things get to me.



September is a big month for me. It would have been my Jaslynn's 16 birthday. I am going on a cruise this month! We are going to celebrate my mom's 64th Birthday, My sons are going to start football and I am going to compete in my first 5K for the San Antonio Eye Bank in memory of my daughter Jaslynn. I may not be able to reach all of my goals that I would like to accomplish but I am ok with that now. I am going to take one day at a time and just breathe. Because with the end of August comes a new month September.



So here is to a new month, a new month of Hope and a new month for a new beginning.



Thank you for stopping by today my Sparkly Friends. I apologize for being MIA. But here is to the last day of August. I am going to make today AWESOME and I am ready to welcome a new month. Can you believe it 4 more months and 2015 is over?!?!?!?! It is never too late to start on your goals!

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