Still Feeling Lost....

It has been 10 months since my last post. I hate that I haven't posted in that long. But things are basically still the same. I'm still suffering from my demons. The Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, & Schizoaffective Disorder all still effect me. Trying to get out of bed in the morning is rough. I hate for anyone to worry about me. Things are worst then they use to be.

Lately I have been doing day by day. Which is what most of us do. I'm still having trouble getting out of bed or just going out in public. Most days I put on a mask and just go through my day. But that gets very exhausting. But lately I have been forcing myself to get up and get out everyday. I am so tired of feeling this way. Life can not be this hard. My husband talked to me today about how I have been feeling. I know he worries about me. It's heartbreaking I wish I had the energy and the strength to work on myself.

I'm hoping that 2020 will be a better year for me. I've been going through this heartbreaking life for what seem like forever. I just want to feel happy. I couldn't tell you the last time that I was happy. I want to be better for my kids. I know they need me. They don't need a mom who is sad all the time. a mom who doesn't shower, a mom that just lays in silence.

Hopefully this year will be better for me. I am going to do my best to post regularly. Let's go on this journey together.